• Doctors would be allowed to give lethal injections to terminally ill people in great pain and suffering who request it.

• The Catholic church would have a huge reversal, as it has on flat earth, and which planet revolves around who, and encourage birth control as a way to humanely save the planet.

• There would be a four-lane highway between Tucson and Phoenix.

• I would be a grandfather several times over.

• Tattoo parlors would be required to give potential clients a 3-day cooling off period, and to post publicity describing the odds favoring tattoo removal. Same for piercing salons.

• Stupid lawsuits would be thrown out of court, and attorneys who brought them would receive 30-day suspensions.

• The US Congress would be composed of fair, honest, intelligent people, equally divided between men and women.

• There would be a 24-hour All-Elvis TV channel.

• I'd get the politicians out of our bedrooms.

• I'd install campaign finance reform immediately.

• Bike lanes would be a mandatory 7 feet wide, of the smoothest asphalt, and swept regularly.

• All Bette Midler videos would require captions on screen as she sings.

• I'd personally select all the Supreme Court judges.

• We would stop selling our national resources to foreign powers, and would carefully ration those deemed ecologically valuable.

• We would balance the budget every year. And not with accounting tricks - with spending cutbacks.

• A strong military would be a given.

• The national anthem would be something less celebratory of violence. Less war-loving. I choose "America The Beautiful"

• Arizona Highways magazine would be funded to insure it's sustainability.

• The Diamondbacks would burn their new tomato-colored uniforms and go back to the originals.

• Voting is a privilege you can do in English. Our language is English. Learn it, or don't vote.

• I would end the Electoral College system. It allows bad people to win.

• I would insist on paper trails for every vote.

• Public facilities would be required to build three women's restrooms for every men's restroom.

• I would scrape off all of New Orleans that sits below sea level, move it inland, and make the Ninth Ward a wetlands.

• We would gradually move towards zero population growth in the US within 30 years by rewarding families with two children or less, and not rewarding families with three or more children.

• We would sign on to the Kyoto Treaty.

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