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"The
E Ride"
The
story of an ornery, adventurous spinster's love for Italy, and her feisty
battles with conservative nursing home care-givers.
An
excerpt from
"The E Ride"
by
Earl Wettstein
....
MUFFY:you've been
saving up, going as long as possible without, haven't you?
(AUNT LUCY is seized
with pain)
AUNT LUCY (Gestures
for bowl):Bowl, please...
MUFFY (Hands her the
bowl):You're sure about this?
AUNT LUCY:I've had
a good ride.
MUFFY:I wish I had
your spirit...
AUNT LUCY:Don't you
know? (PAUSE) You do
(AUNT LUCY doubles
in pain).
AUNT LUCY (Points):Apple
sauce.
MUFFY:You sure this
will work?
AUNT LUCY (Begins
to break pills into the apple sauce):With the right pills - and enough
of them - it's guaranteed. (PAUSE) Did you bring the other?
MUFFY (Brings out
a small bag):This is a little weird, Aunt Lucy...
AUNT LUCY (Contracting
in pain):I'm an Anderson.,
MUFFY (Hands small
bag to LUCY):Here...
(AUNT LUCY pulls out
a red clown nose)
AUNT LUCY (In pain,
puts it on)
MUFFY:It's...cute.
Here...
(Hands LUCY a large
hand mirror)
AUNT LUCY (Looking
in mirror):When the devil sees me in this, he'll get such a fright,
he'll send me right up to heaven.
AUNT LUCY (Her hand
in the bag, pulls out a second, smaller red nose):What's this?
(MUFFY takes the nose
and puts it on).
MUFFY:How do I look?
(AUNT LUCY hands the
mirror to MUFFY)
AUNT LUCY:Goofy.
MUFFY:Not as goofy
as you!
(THEY LAUGH together,
hug)
AUNT LUCY:No, you
take the goofy prize.., oh, oh, (in pain)
MUFFY (Comforts her):Oh,
Lucy...
AUNT LUCY:It's time
for dessert, kid. The ride's over...
(MUFFY looks at the
bowl of apple sauce, and at AUNT LUCY)
AUNT LUCY:Owhhhh...
(AUNT LUCY picks up
the spoon, slowly takes a spoonful).
MUFFY:We love you,
Lucy...
AUNT LUCY (Manages
to take another spoonful).:I love you. Like a daughter...
(AUNT LUCY weak, drops
her spoon, clatter, clatter)
MUFFY looks at the
fallen spoon, hesitates. Slowly reaches down to pick it up. Wipes it
clean. Looks at Lucy, looks at the bowl, slowly starts to spoon up the
apple sauce and begins to feed AUNT LUCY)
MUFFY:I love you.
AUNT LUCY (In pain):Muffy!
(MUFFY prepares a
spoon of applesauce).
MUFFY (Takes the spoon
to AUNT LUCY's lips):Open wide.
AUNT LUCY:Like a baby.
MUFFY:I love you,
Mom.
AUNT LUCY (Slowly
begins to sing):I love you... a bushel and a peck.., a bushel and a
peck and a hug around the neck. (LIGHTS FADE TO BLACK) A hug around
the neck... and a barrel and a heap... A barrel and a heap and I'm talkin'
in my sleep about...
CURTAIN
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