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"The E Ride"
  The story of an ornery, adventurous spinster's love for Italy, and her feisty battles with conservative nursing home care-givers.

An excerpt from
"The E Ride"

by Earl Wettstein

....

MUFFY:you've been saving up, going as long as possible without, haven't you?

(AUNT LUCY is seized with pain)

AUNT LUCY (Gestures for bowl):Bowl, please...

MUFFY (Hands her the bowl):You're sure about this?

AUNT LUCY:I've had a good ride.

MUFFY:I wish I had your spirit...

AUNT LUCY:Don't you know? (PAUSE) You do

(AUNT LUCY doubles in pain).

AUNT LUCY (Points):Apple sauce.

MUFFY:You sure this will work?

AUNT LUCY (Begins to break pills into the apple sauce):With the right pills - and enough of them - it's guaranteed. (PAUSE) Did you bring the other?

MUFFY (Brings out a small bag):This is a little weird, Aunt Lucy...

AUNT LUCY (Contracting in pain):I'm an Anderson.,

MUFFY (Hands small bag to LUCY):Here...

(AUNT LUCY pulls out a red clown nose)

AUNT LUCY (In pain, puts it on)

MUFFY:It's...cute. Here...

(Hands LUCY a large hand mirror)

AUNT LUCY (Looking in mirror):When the devil sees me in this, he'll get such a fright, he'll send me right up to heaven.

AUNT LUCY (Her hand in the bag, pulls out a second, smaller red nose):What's this?

(MUFFY takes the nose and puts it on).

MUFFY:How do I look?

(AUNT LUCY hands the mirror to MUFFY)

AUNT LUCY:Goofy.

MUFFY:Not as goofy as you!

(THEY LAUGH together, hug)

AUNT LUCY:No, you take the goofy prize.., oh, oh, (in pain)

MUFFY (Comforts her):Oh, Lucy...

AUNT LUCY:It's time for dessert, kid. The ride's over...

(MUFFY looks at the bowl of apple sauce, and at AUNT LUCY)

AUNT LUCY:Owhhhh...

(AUNT LUCY picks up the spoon, slowly takes a spoonful).

MUFFY:We love you, Lucy...

AUNT LUCY (Manages to take another spoonful).:I love you. Like a daughter...

(AUNT LUCY weak, drops her spoon, clatter, clatter)

MUFFY looks at the fallen spoon, hesitates. Slowly reaches down to pick it up. Wipes it clean. Looks at Lucy, looks at the bowl, slowly starts to spoon up the apple sauce and begins to feed AUNT LUCY)

MUFFY:I love you.

AUNT LUCY (In pain):Muffy!

(MUFFY prepares a spoon of applesauce).

MUFFY (Takes the spoon to AUNT LUCY's lips):Open wide.

AUNT LUCY:Like a baby.

MUFFY:I love you, Mom.

AUNT LUCY (Slowly begins to sing):I love you... a bushel and a peck.., a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck. (LIGHTS FADE TO BLACK) A hug around the neck... and a barrel and a heap... A barrel and a heap and I'm talkin' in my sleep about...

CURTAIN